Sunday, January 11, 2009

what you want is what you get

at the end of every year, we tend to look back in the past and wonder if we had made it a good year, count our blessings and begin to make plans for the new year ahead. from before i had always whined and complained that i didnt do enough.. that i could have done more. i counted sorrows instead of blessings. and even if i achieved at least half of my goals, i did not fully embrace my achievements and naturally find faults blaming my surroundings. until about a few years back, did i learn how to accept personal growth in a lighter mode.

year after year i would tell myself, that its okay, if it doesnt happen now, it will at some point in my life, if its meant to be, if its my destiny, it will come to me. in these years of my life, i lived my life. day after day, doing the things i loved most, spending time with the peopl
e i loved most, and that made me truly happy.

it is possible to fall into the trap of wanting so much in life, especially when we look at the people around us, when they have what we dont have, and they look happy. in a split second we think, that if we have the same, we'd be happy too. we get lost in that circle trying to achieve all of that, when in the first place, it might not even be what we really want.

what we really want lies in the deepest of our hearts. a few lucky people may recognize this easily and manage to live their lives to the fullest achieving their desires, but the ones that get lost in the circle of life, may struggle to find what they are looking for. for the struggling ones, trust me for i had crossed this path before, if you can clear your mind and your heart, be honest with yourself and accept you for who you are, you will find your answer.

at the beginning of year 2008, i had made a promise to myself, that in this year, i would remain positive at most times if not all, that i would complain less, and embrace the joy of life with a touch of spontaneity, filling it with much passion and love.

and what a year it had been for me.

for the first time, i look back in the past year, with a big smile on my face. that year, was my year. with much love and passion that surrounded me, i could not have asked for more.

so now, i tell myself, what's in for 2009?

me being me, i have my lists and plans...whether it becomes a reality, or merely a fantasy, we really just have to wait and see.

what i learned from the man in my life is that the unexpected joy that comes from what is not in the plan is the ingredient that will add spark and much delight to life. so i realize, that what you can achieve in a day is a reason to smile , and the smile that comes from within the happy soul, is the one that keeps me flying high.

For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"