Friday, April 15, 2005

chuckle inside

some people call it waking up on the wrong side of the bed. u know.. one of those days when nothing right really comes your way. or so i thought. when i felt empty. something's missing but what. i've constantly maintained my-oh-what-a-wonderful-world-this-is-and-nothing-can-mess-my-life. and then one day i wake up and i feel like shit. but it is true.. this truly is a wonderful world and nothing can mess my life... except ME!

but oh like i care.. lets just pour it all here, get done with it. and move on for tomorrow. but what if there's no tomorrow.. what if it all ends.. now! well.. for i said earlier like i care.. the more i sit down and think about it.. my minutes my seconds, my hours... they just get shorter. day by day by day..

this was the day like.sun shining bright... hot.. greatt!! then... gloomy, rainy, dark. and how have i been responsible for having a day like this. it started out with me going to the national registration department to renew my identity card--- yes!! the one where i had this bigg mushroom hairdo many many years back, to the supposedly-great-invention of the new elctronic identity card better known as mykad. bloody hell i tell u.. had to wait there for hours.. and when the time came.. u had to like register then move to another counter where you would have your photo taken. ahh me the camera freak! so i sat, getting excited.. and worried.. will i look okay? i have after all waited for hours oh whatever... and the photographer.. well its actually just a guy who sits behind the counter and says nothing but clicks on a button to have ur photo taken.. he said nothing as i sat on the chair.. looked in front and smiled.. but nothing happened... and inside i go like.. what's happening.. what do i do now.. smile? for how long? and just as i was about to open up my mouth.. to say something... CLICK!!! KERCCHEEKK!! gone was the moment.. the moment where i was supposed to smile.. and be happyy!!!! crash boom bang.. tiddle dee dum...

its okay.. lets meet up with a girlfriend.. have coffee.. gossip abit.. laugh.. chuckle haha hee hee.. and then.. conversations in my head.. ohh.. it's such a long drive.. well i'll live in shah alam u see.. driving to midvalley during peak hours especially on a rainy may not be such a good idea..

so i have something to eat.. blablablablablabla yadayadayadayada.. okay lets call up ms jaja binx.. one of my gurlies.. a 3 minute phone call which happened to be more than just 3 minutes.. much much more.. and approximately at 8.50 pm.. while i'm writing this and bitching bout my oh so boring day.. i just realized that i had miss watching something on tv which i had waited all day all week. have u ever had that? u wait one whole day for a moment.. and suddenly u realize later.. that.. u forgot.. like a tv show.. or whatever.. u wanted to watch it.. u waited.. but for a split second u forgot.. and then.. it's over...

imagine ur life... u wait.. and u wait and wait somemore.. then just as it comes along.. u hear a voice.. someone calling you from far.. and u look back.. and within that split second.. u lose that moment.. ok lets cut the crap..

i'm off to love. hugs and kisses everyone.. the moon is calling out to me.


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