breathe

be like the flowing river
silent in the night
be not afraid of the dark
if there are stars in the sky, reflect them back
if there are clouds in the sky
remember, clouds, like the river, are water
so gladly reflect them too
in your own tranquil depths

manuel bandeira

as usual i was rushing through my lines. i tend to speed through either my dialogues, or what ever host links that i have to do. and yes i realize i make no sense or even no connection what so ever when that happens. but i do it anyway unconsciously but consciously that im doing it like 5 secs after. and whenever ping says.. remember to pause for a while.. i just dont seem to really listen.. but until he said.. remember to pause for a bit.. you're very afraid of pauses.. dont be afraid, it got me thinking.

although he meant it literally reagarding my lines, i as usual had taken it as more than just feedback. its true u know.. im the kind that does everything fast paced. i talk fast, i breathe fast, i drive fast when i can , as much as my lil red mini car (no.. not THE MINI COOPER) can take, i eat quite fast too and in between all of that, i do what ever i can every second, every minute, every hour till i cant take more and just either fall asleep or fall in space. more of the latter of course.

and yes.. i can be afraid of pauses. empty space in time.

so when i had shed some tears again during the dead body pose in class today. i knew why. no, im not sad, neither am i unhappy. its only because that's the only time i ever get to really, totally relax, mind body and soul, a time where i can truly let go and surrender, to pause and breathe. 3 minutes of that just makes my day. its true you know.. not like some yoga crap u read on those ads... but of course.. u need to have a good instructor, and the one i have, is the best that one can have.

so im a bit weird.. and i cry.. sometimes :)

if I just breathe
let it fill the space between
i'll know everything is alright
breathe,
every little piece of me
you'll see
everything is alright
if I just breathe

breathe - michelle branch