is it half empty or half full?

i am trying to draw a fine line between being selfish and just being responsible in making myself happy.

i would love to go away to another place, another city, another town, another country... not for long.. just a for awhile.. to gain more knowledge, and fill up my so called ' experience bank '

i am saving money to buy an ibook

i admire people and friends, who have the strength to follow their heart and make the impossible , possible

i am touched by those who gives and gives and expect nothing in return, loving wholeheartedly.

i like to see couples in love.

i am happy for my friends that are happily married.

i wonder why some people out there.. think or act like alien[s] on a totally different planet.

i cannot understand myself sometimes.

i wish to be independant.

i pray that i make the best decisions as there is no right or wrong for me.

i get lost in my thoughts at times.-- [most times]

i am going to sleep ... zzzZZZzzzz

you are my love story

her : i just wanna be in love

him : what does being in love feel like

her : gee.. im not sure

him : how come?

her : well its hard to say. i confuse being in a relationship with being in love. i believe it should go together hand in hand.. dont u think so?

him : dont ask me.. i dont really believe in love.

her : but i thought u said u love me

him : well yeah..

her : ure mean! u dont love me do u?

him : of course i do..

her : okay. well.. i still dont know what it feels like.. i just want to know.. that i have someone in my life.. and that i dont have to worry wether this person would ever leave me and be with someone else. and that no matter where i am.. or where he is.. i love him.. and he loves me. and stay that way forever and ever. does it sound too much of a fairytale?

him : i dont know.. what do u think?

her : maybe someday.. it wont be a fairytale anymore..

him : so how's ur love story?

her : i dont have a love story.. ( u are my love story )

him : really?

her : yeah.. really.... ( u are my love story )

him : okay...

her : well i have to go...

him : okay...

her : bye

him : bye

-----------------------------------------------------

eva natasha

love me most when i least deserve it.. because that's when i really need it

pupus - dewa

aku tak mengerti, apa yang kurasa
rindu yang tak pernah begitu hebatnya
aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tau
meski kau takkan pernah tau

aku persembahkan hidupku untukmu
telah ku relakan, hatiku padamu
namun kau masih bisu, diam seribu bahasa
dan hati kecilku bicara

baru kusadari cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan
kau buat remuk sluruh hatiku

semoga waktu akan mengilhami sisi hatimu yang beku
semoga akan datang keajaiban hingga akhirnya kaupun mau

aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tau
meski kau takkan pernah tau

what is?

as i am writing this.. i do not have a picture for this entry. i might later. as i am writing this.. i do not know what to write about. yet my mind wonders for something to fill in the blanks.. its been a tough week.. and a tough few months. it's also been extremely beautiful and heavenly in a certain point of view.

today i made a statement saying that it is so easy for people to rate success as where u are at ur current job status, and i cannot agree with that. its so easy for people to say.. '' waaahh look at him/ her!! she's a top manager of that firm okay.. he's/she's the senior lawyer in that firm, head doctor of the hospital " no doubt about that.. successful indeed.

but what about someone who left his/her job to travel around the world in 8 months just to satisfy his/her dream to see the world? or what a bout someone who works as a waiter/waitress in a very small cafe yet has the most beautiful loving relationship with his/her partner?

its so easy to be sucked into this whole idea that success is how much u earn and what job u do.

what is success to you?

somewhere over the rainbow.. not all skies are blue

what makes me unhappy :(
people who lie to me
polygamy
people killing each other at war
mothers leaving their babies in public toilets
tears in the eyes of my loved ones

A member of Eugene Peaceworks shares
grim statistics on the mortality rate of
Iraqi children after sanctions were imposed. [12/17/98]

The bodies of Palestinian Ahmed Mughayer, 13,
and his sister Asma, 16, right, are wrapped in
blankets after being brought from the Talesultan area
of the Rafah refugee camp, in the southern Gaza Strip,
Tuesday, May 18, 2004. Both were on the roof
of their three-story apartment building when
they were hit by army fire, said their older brother, Ali.
The shots were fired from an Israeli army position
on the sixth floor of the neighboring building, he said.
(AP Photo/Kevin Frayer)

what makes me happy :)
my little nephews waking me up in the morning with a wet kiss and a big hug
chocolate ice cream
rockclimbing at camp5 and batu caves
laughing together with my girlfriends
comments on my blog ;) *hint hint
the smile on the faces of my loved ones

the smile on the faces of just anybody
smiles :)

there are times when i become really upset about things that i come to believe my world is falling apart. i cry, and feel really sad that i have to go through such dissapointments in life. and then i sit down and i think to myself, how lucky it is that i actually have what i have.. and how unlucky some other people are across the other side of the world. i am truly blessed and i thank God for the beauty that surrounds me.

simple delights

sunday was spent climbing at batucaves. the experience was simply amazing i should say. unfortunately, the camera ran out of battery and so those were the only few photos i managed to capture. well.. probably in a few weeks id make another trip.. and this time.. i'll be better prepared. when i mean better prepared it means.. no coming in beaded slippers, hair tied up in a twist, and a proper backpack to keep my stuff.. :) i had this whole idea that it was kind of a commercialized climbing wall and i wouldnt have to trek on a short trail with mosquitos accompanying me all through the way! :) i laugh at myself now .. i had brought with me.. along with (what i thought was) a cool looking duffel bag, an ipod, a mini fan, a book, sort of a pareo so to sit on and not dirty myself and was nicely clad in what i thought were cool stylo clothes to look good :) its no wonder aman said, " i dont think u can go trekking in nepal" :) oh well it was lesson learned :)

in the past 7 days ..
1. i met paula malai ali in person after watching m the opera :)
2. i managed to follow a strict low carb diet
3. i bought a pair of shoes (im just a girl)
4. i listened to my heart
5. i loved
6. i felt loved
7. i lived my life


'the only reason to live, is life itself. i try to climb up the route so that when i look down and see for myself that there would be something to make my heart gleam with delight'